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Well things are really rough. I am finally getting caught up on car note but my love life stinks. My new Steve does not exist in my life. His wife has gotten a job
and never comes to see me anymore. I am very lonely. I have the seen D the man for a while. I really, really miss him. Its just not fair that this happens like
this. I know he is married but he should at least be able to spend some time with me.
Tia is still falling for the same guys, over and over again. She listens to the lies about how they are rich and she believes them.
I will not waste all my time talking about my friends, but their lives are so interesting. Tia and I went to the Casino together and this guy hit on me. She said to
me, :"He must like Black girls? " that was so weird, but I think stuff like that about Asians and whites but to say it out loud. It just shows that allot of tgirls are
jealous of each other.
Christmas was another struggle this year. Still struggling with money, I just spent the holidays alone again. I still survive. My friend for Junior high school got
in contact with me. She and I are so close all over again. I love her like a sister. She gets so depressed about allot of things though. I had this nice guy going to
help her with bills but she thought he was too old and gambled too much. Her name is Felicia and she is from Mississippi.
The worst part of the holidays is my government assistance was giving me problems. I had this new case worker and he was really giving me such a hard time.
January 2010
I started school on the 21st of this month at career school. O my gosh, my class is full of boys, and most of them are my type. Its crazy, I don't know what to
do. Well I will focus. Sex is not the same since I started school and I am not working that hard.
February 2010
Well now its snowing this month and its crazy. I have never seen snow like this. I am missing class certain days for the snow. D the man spent my birthday with
me pounding me so good. I really really had a great time.
March 2010
I dropped out of the career school, and it cost me allot there, gosh that school was really expensive. I went on a job interview and I think it was more like a witch
hunt.
I ran into a nice tgirl named Ashley. She is a little hood and hardcore but maybe I need that in my life. She is kind of loud. .... Ashley and I went out and had
so much fun. Ashley showed me Kensington, the worst area of Philadelphia. She asked me to move there with her and share an apartment, I was thinking about
it. .... Now look what happened. Ashley tried to get me to put this guy in my car, just some guy downtown. I don't pick up guys like that, this is not high school.
She got out and left me. Later she started to smell the guy and she let him go. Ashley and I still remained friends.
I helped Ashley with the Internet and she used to make extra income, but every time we go out she asking me for money for cigarettes and 5 bucks for spending
money. I am also always buying her food. Then I loaned her money and gave her clothes and she has done nothing for me but show me where the worst
neighborhoods are.
April 2010
Well this tgirl named Molly had a birthday party, but I was so sick that I had to stay home. Ashley was performing. Ashley did great at the show from what I
heard.
After the party I told Mrs Molly how sorry I was and how bad I felt and she introduced me to Moe and Yvonne, and they were very nice. So we all went to
party for Moes birthday next time. We had so much fun even though we end up going out late. It was nice regardless. (Ashley hates the word regardless, it
drives me nutts that she can't get over that word.)
Ashley got kicked out her house this month. I felt so bad for her, and was going to let her stay with me, but then I just can't trust her.
Yvonne came to stay with me, and she made it a place to live, but the problem is she did not want to pay rent and she was eating all my food and feeding her
boyfriend. She had to go. Ashley did not talk to me for 2 weeks, I just ending up getting her to answer the phone and things were fine with she and I again.
Come to find out she was in the shelter but she was happy she met a boyfriend there. Its weird, that so many tgirls are about money but date guys that hustle for
money.
July 2010
Well I started at a new school. Its a community College and its cheaper. I really like it. .... My English teacher gave me and F on my first paper. How could
he do this? I am so mad. ... My teacher gave me a C on my second paper. Now I am getting better in his class. I have all A's in my Math class. I love math,
even though I have allot of dust on my knowledge of it. .... I finally got an A in English class. I am so happy, but now I am pissed, my teacher thinks someone
else wrote the paper. I could not have sex for 2 weeks cause this fucking guy hurt my ass so much. A car salesman at that. I fucked and electrician for a while
whows did was average to get over the pain.
I am sharing a phone with Yvonne and Moe, and I cut their phones off and they are mad. I called them and they were acting funny. I did not like that, when the
bill was past due. I cut it off. There is a new tgirl named KeKe and she moves in with Ashley in her new apartment. Ashley is so happy to have a room mate,
since her boyfriend broke up with her, and KeKe is young and very pretty.
I talked to Moe and Yvonne latter and then we worked it all out. Yvonne and her boyfriend broke up cause her daughter in law told him Yvonne was having sex
with other guys. Now KeKe is getting on my nerves, she never has money just like Ashley and its like I am here to feed both of them. I just want friends to treat
me sometimes, I don't expect to always treat them. I started spending time with Moe and her kids and going places. We went to the Jazz fest and it was so fun
and it was free to get in, but we forgot where we parked the car and wore ourselves out. I started going to King of Prussia tgirl parties at Angela Lap top Lounge
and it was great. There were no men there but it was so much fun. Vicki the white tg and I always have fun together.
August 2010
Well this is the worst month ever, final exams are here and I get evicted. I am so upset. How could my school and my living struggle like this. The landlord said
they evicted me cause I was behind on utilities and 2 weeks behind on rent. I am like why did you not call me about it instead of just evicting me? My life truly
sucks, sometimes I think of ending it all but I will survive it.
Now its seems things are getting worse, two girls were giving me a problem in the hair store about me being transsexual. That is horrible how women judge us, if
they think they are so much better than transsexuals then why bring it up.
September 2010
I am so upset but I have to move don't know what I am going to do. Well this nice guy said I could stay with him for a little while. He is very nice and I had
such a crush on him months ago so I will try this. So I was only homeless for one day. I know homeless and sleeping in the car is so rough. I am so behind on
my car note, but I am trying to catch up. The worst part of this eviction is the fact it would happen when there are no government programs available. I don't
know what to do.
October 2010
We its a new month and I move out of my apartment for 2 years. Wow I am so going to miss that place. I loved having my own. Well I moved in with this guy
and he was like jumping on top of me for a while, so I end up leaving and renting a room from another guy. Times are hard but I don't need to be a piece of ass
when I can barely move. Now I am single and renting a room looking for a house to live in. I hope I find a nice place.
Well Ashley and I did not talk the last of the month since she could not get a ride to the tgirl party, it did not work out and she did not call me for a while. I will
be cool though, my focus is finding a place to live. I would tell her I moved to Springfield to rent a room from someone but she has such a big mouth. She told
this girl that she said was her niece, all my business. She told me she tells her everything but thats not right to tell all your business. KeKe and I got in another
argument on the phone. We fight every time Ashley is around, weird right?
Well this is about me, not people around me. I am really having problems working. I mean I hate doing cam shows. You know since I am over my sex addiction
its hard to make money. I think I am lonely also. I am tired of being single. Now I live with a guy but I am still single because he is more a landlord than a
boyfriend. I do like him, but he just makes me so mad sometimes. Its like he doesn't know I am interested in him. Well either way he is a good man.
The tgirl Halloween party was off the chain. I loved it. We had so much fun and so many guys came to the party. There was this really really hot guy but I could
not get to him. I really wanted him, gosh he was so damn hot. I hope to see him again.
November 2010
Well this month I had to drop out of school. I can't afford to get back and forth. I can't really focus right now. My main focus is on moving into a new place. I
hope I find one. I am praying to God to find me the place I would like to be in, and I need a job also. I really don't like doing cam shows, phone is OK, but cam
shows I hate it. I know I am a dreamer but it would be so nice to have a guy hold me and watch movies with me. I would also like a guy to motivate me and
encourage me to make my dreams come true. Then I want a guy to push me. I am telling all my business online. Can you believe it? Ashley found this new
house today and she really likes it. She wants to become a mistress full time and have her own slaves. I think thats cute. If I don't find a place soon I might have
to move in the dorm where it will be really such a drag.
I was staying with this guy Gray and he was nice, but gosh, he fucked me so hard that I was almost bleeding some times. I mean really let me get the lube, but I
dealt with it cause he was so sexy when he wanted to have sex and you all know I am weak sexually. I guess thats why I get that sex addiction. The problem
with me and him is he likes oral sex giving and receiving and I don't care for oral sex and I think that is why I am single. Plus, I can't blow a load so that really
turns guys off. No one wants to date a tgirl that can't cum. He had problems with me also. He could not stand that I was so loud when I laughed. Too loud.
He could not stand that.
December 2010
Its December and I am still single. Tia is single also. One of my Turkish friends and my Older friend are the only ones that have come to see me. I know so
many guys email me but very few come and see me. Most of the tgirls are homeless right now, at least the African American ones.
3rd Week in December
You will not believe this. I had sex with the guy I told you that it seems like he slept with everyone. I had sex with him. I am talking about Da. Da finally
treated me to a meal, I was so shocked. I thought he was so so cheap. He kind of reminds me of like Richard G, the actor. We had some good sex too. Its
weird since he had sex with Tia and did all that stuff in bed. I was affraid to even kiss him. I mean guys lick ass all the time, but to know that they did it is crazy
especially to girls I know. Tia tells me every time a guy does that to her. I say stuff like he licked me everywhere, she goes into detail. He read my Diary. I was
so so shocked. The sex was good and he even called me the "N" word in bed and you all know I like that. Just like I like a black guy to call me his piece of ass.
I know you are wondering will I see Da again, but you know how that goes. I would love to date him but he is so discreet but he says he is not married.
Funny thing is Sugar Da also came over. He is my buddy, and he mostly talks to me. I got two DA's in my life, one to fuck me and one to just make me feel
goodmentally and tease me. My Therapist asked me about slowing down. I am like, what? I can be with one guy but he better claim this ass daily. I also met
thisnew guy and he is so so nice. Ric, and he is so nice and older and hairy, you know I like hairy. He wants to see me but I still got to get over Da. ok, I had
sex with Ric last week, and it was good too. I think him and Da at a tie. The thing is who will be beneficial to me. Its not a race but I don't know what Da wants
and Ric wants. Both are actually single. I also went to the tgirl party this past weekend Dec 18 at Blue in the King of Prussia Mall and it was great. More men
came. The only thing I did not like it allot of them are expecting sex like immediately. Did you know that Car salesman is still contacting me after breaking my
hole and he lost his job. I guess he wants to break my hole so more till I bleed. Big dick mother fucker wants to kill me I think.