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January 2008
spending it. This year I want to be more independent. Its not working our that way as of yet. I spending it.
This year I want to be more independent. Its not working our that way as of yet. I still have not found me a
total top. Allot of guys that like me are more bottoms. I can be a bottom, but see if I do that, I will start
being more about money.
bottom, but see if I do that, I will start being more about money.
January Ending
My thoughts and Fears
Its my birthday coming up and I am still alone. I have friends, but no one that wants to only be with me. I am
such a lover and a friend to the right man that will allow me to be close to him. I am a good. I want to be
some mans black queen.
My Version or a good man
A man that is a man, a top, someone that wants to wake up next to the woman he is with. I want him to teach
me how to save at the same time spoiling me with nice gifts. Not expensive gifts, but things I need such as
groceries, nails and hair done. At the same time, I want him to full me with his long thrust in the night. I am
not a person for long sex, but just good love making and sex. I want a guy that likes oral, but is more into
feeling my round small bottom around his hard long stick. I want him to not be into ever really bending over.
He is a strait man that only wants to feel me, he might go down on me every so often, but he really enjoys
me on top of him, as he touches my small chest. This man will not want a girl with a big chest or a big behind
but a well medium shaped body.
Obama had his inauguration this month also. I watched it. I was so afraid something was going to have to
him. I was scared as scared can be. He walked outside and he was not afraid. See thats how I want to be
not afraid of anything.
About myself
Most of the guys I truly like are married. I think its because they make me feel special when they are with
me. I was with a married guy once for 6 years and I loved him very much. Now there is another guy that I
would love to be with, but he is married also. His time with me is every week and though he makes me happy
when he is here, he makes me very sad as he leaves and how I knows he is with another all the time. I
wonder will I ever have my own man. I don't want a heave set man. I have tried that. All men have their
desires and have their affairs, but when someone I am not attracted to does that to me, it hurts much worse.
When someone that is physically fit and a good man it hurts not as bad because my jealousy always suspects
him of cheating. I like to make my man as if he is my King. I want a hard working man. I don't care for rich
men for they only want to use me for my assets. My body is nice, its not thick in all the wrong places as
some girls. I don't do the silicone thing, though I would like to have the body, first I have to love myself and
lately I don't love myself. I work as a cam and phone girl and men want me for a top, when in my heart there
is nothing but a bottom. I was raised where women were strong, but were always weak to the husband. The
last picture is a true image of me. No make my true face.
My Doctors Visit This Month Jan
I went to the Doctor and I found out that I have bacteria in my stomach. I already have a very high protein
level. I should become a vegetarian but I don' t want, because I love meat so much. I can't deal without ribs.
I might have to start doing vegetables and fruits. The nurse tested me for AIDS. I was very scared the
entire time. I was too scared. I sat there, she told me the results would be back in 10 minutes. She took 20
minutes to come and tell me my results. As I set there, I said, I will be strong. I will not let this hurt me. I
had already gotten scared of catching things. Now I got my results back and then she said , "You are fine, it
took me long to get your medicine for your stomach. The test came out negative." I was scared, but I said
I would be strong and I would fight to the end.
And then on
I talked to my partners from last year and their is only one that I have not been safe with within the last 2 to 3
months and he said because of his loving wife, he will not longer not use protection with me.
Another transsexual has offered me a job part time. I might do it, but I don't know. I don't know what I
want to do these days. I am craving sex, but my health is not letting me. Its my mental health thats causing
most of the problems. I so want to be loved. I dominate and I control so many, but then who is there for me
to love after that. I love domination in some ways, but this is not the life I chose as a child. I am taking my
anger out on men that the anger people have towards me. Sometimes I say I like, but then another part of me,
which is my heart feels sorry for them for the pain they take and for the pain I have within myself. The
love of my life is not here with me now and he now touches another. When I needed medicine for my
health, he was the only one that came to my aid. Will I ever find someone like him again? He taught how to
pay bills. He just could not teach me how to stop spending once they are paid.
Dating a Lawyer in Jan
I went out with a lawyer. He was very nice, not bad looking. His kissing, was not there at all. He could not
stay hard for me. He tasted me from the back and came 3 times. I never came once. I don't know what to
say. I want a guy thats into little breast, he asked me to get implants. I don't know if that was right. Another
thing, his ex got a Mercedes, a 3000 a month apartment, and he paid the utilities. I barely got a good meal. I
don't think this one will work out. I went to New York to see this guy. He is very nice, but we will only be
friends. He says he likes me, all he did was talk about her. I did ask about her, but he kept saying he hated
she did not call him, so he in love with this girl. She looks like New York from Flavor of Love. Well I think
this guy is just going to be a friend.
My friend T, the Asian girl , just meet a guy that owns 3 apartment buildings. He also has 3 condos and is
sent her roses before meeting her. I hope he makes her happy. They meet this weekend. He is taking me
out for my Birthday. He is glad I hooked them up.
Jan 31
I talked to T and I told her I don't want to go out with her and her man on my birthday. Something is really
up with her man. He owns this company but he brags so much and he came down here and he did not rent a
car. I mean he might be fake. Well let me stop talking about her so much, this is supposed to be about me.
Its just T is an Asian and I think she can get a man more her type. Just to also mention this guy told her he
does not want to talk to her anymore cause she has not had sex with him yet.
February
Its my birthday and Valentines and black history month. I love all these holidays. I hope we have a great
month. I hope I get to the point of being able to pay my bills.
Feb 3
I wanted to see my photographer. I was missing him so much. I was tired, but I had to see him. I drove 30
minutes to the town where he worked and when he kissed me it was all over. Next thing I know I was on the
desk at a major college. I was all on that desk taking that dick. He fucked me so good, I came without
touching myself. It was the first time I had office sex, and yes, it was good. Gosh I loved it every minute of
it.
Feb 5
I had some good sex today, gosh it was so good. He was from Turkey. So I guess I can say I had some
Turkey Dick. Some good hard masculine Turkey. MMMMMMMMMMM, it was so good, that boy can hit
it and hit it good. When he kisses me its so good too. He came over just to talk, but yall know I am slut. I
love it when I meet a nice guy that wants and can't resist me in a sexy outfit. We made love for 2 hours, 2
times. He was so so so so so so good. I might need to date more men from Turkey, he had 6 inches, but he
worked those 6 inches. I should have put it on tape, so everyone could see it.
Feb 6
Its midnight and I am horny again. I don't know whats wrong. I called my photographer and he will not see
me today, he is too busy. There is this guy named Mic thats supposed to hit it tonight but I called him and his
voice mail picked up. That was a true waste of time.
spending it. This year I want to be more independent. Its not working our that way as of yet. I spending it.
This year I want to be more independent. Its not working our that way as of yet. I still have not found me a
total top. Allot of guys that like me are more bottoms. I can be a bottom, but see if I do that, I will start
being more about money.
bottom, but see if I do that, I will start being more about money.
January Ending
My thoughts and Fears
Its my birthday coming up and I am still alone. I have friends, but no one that wants to only be with me. I am
such a lover and a friend to the right man that will allow me to be close to him. I am a good. I want to be
some mans black queen.
My Version or a good man
A man that is a man, a top, someone that wants to wake up next to the woman he is with. I want him to teach
me how to save at the same time spoiling me with nice gifts. Not expensive gifts, but things I need such as
groceries, nails and hair done. At the same time, I want him to full me with his long thrust in the night. I am
not a person for long sex, but just good love making and sex. I want a guy that likes oral, but is more into
feeling my round small bottom around his hard long stick. I want him to not be into ever really bending over.
He is a strait man that only wants to feel me, he might go down on me every so often, but he really enjoys
me on top of him, as he touches my small chest. This man will not want a girl with a big chest or a big behind
but a well medium shaped body.
Obama had his inauguration this month also. I watched it. I was so afraid something was going to have to
him. I was scared as scared can be. He walked outside and he was not afraid. See thats how I want to be
not afraid of anything.
About myself
Most of the guys I truly like are married. I think its because they make me feel special when they are with
me. I was with a married guy once for 6 years and I loved him very much. Now there is another guy that I
would love to be with, but he is married also. His time with me is every week and though he makes me happy
when he is here, he makes me very sad as he leaves and how I knows he is with another all the time. I
wonder will I ever have my own man. I don't want a heave set man. I have tried that. All men have their
desires and have their affairs, but when someone I am not attracted to does that to me, it hurts much worse.
When someone that is physically fit and a good man it hurts not as bad because my jealousy always suspects
him of cheating. I like to make my man as if he is my King. I want a hard working man. I don't care for rich
men for they only want to use me for my assets. My body is nice, its not thick in all the wrong places as
some girls. I don't do the silicone thing, though I would like to have the body, first I have to love myself and
lately I don't love myself. I work as a cam and phone girl and men want me for a top, when in my heart there
is nothing but a bottom. I was raised where women were strong, but were always weak to the husband. The
last picture is a true image of me. No make my true face.
My Doctors Visit This Month Jan
I went to the Doctor and I found out that I have bacteria in my stomach. I already have a very high protein
level. I should become a vegetarian but I don' t want, because I love meat so much. I can't deal without ribs.
I might have to start doing vegetables and fruits. The nurse tested me for AIDS. I was very scared the
entire time. I was too scared. I sat there, she told me the results would be back in 10 minutes. She took 20
minutes to come and tell me my results. As I set there, I said, I will be strong. I will not let this hurt me. I
had already gotten scared of catching things. Now I got my results back and then she said , "You are fine, it
took me long to get your medicine for your stomach. The test came out negative." I was scared, but I said
I would be strong and I would fight to the end.
And then on
I talked to my partners from last year and their is only one that I have not been safe with within the last 2 to 3
months and he said because of his loving wife, he will not longer not use protection with me.
Another transsexual has offered me a job part time. I might do it, but I don't know. I don't know what I
want to do these days. I am craving sex, but my health is not letting me. Its my mental health thats causing
most of the problems. I so want to be loved. I dominate and I control so many, but then who is there for me
to love after that. I love domination in some ways, but this is not the life I chose as a child. I am taking my
anger out on men that the anger people have towards me. Sometimes I say I like, but then another part of me,
which is my heart feels sorry for them for the pain they take and for the pain I have within myself. The
love of my life is not here with me now and he now touches another. When I needed medicine for my
health, he was the only one that came to my aid. Will I ever find someone like him again? He taught how to
pay bills. He just could not teach me how to stop spending once they are paid.
Dating a Lawyer in Jan
I went out with a lawyer. He was very nice, not bad looking. His kissing, was not there at all. He could not
stay hard for me. He tasted me from the back and came 3 times. I never came once. I don't know what to
say. I want a guy thats into little breast, he asked me to get implants. I don't know if that was right. Another
thing, his ex got a Mercedes, a 3000 a month apartment, and he paid the utilities. I barely got a good meal. I
don't think this one will work out. I went to New York to see this guy. He is very nice, but we will only be
friends. He says he likes me, all he did was talk about her. I did ask about her, but he kept saying he hated
she did not call him, so he in love with this girl. She looks like New York from Flavor of Love. Well I think
this guy is just going to be a friend.
My friend T, the Asian girl , just meet a guy that owns 3 apartment buildings. He also has 3 condos and is
sent her roses before meeting her. I hope he makes her happy. They meet this weekend. He is taking me
out for my Birthday. He is glad I hooked them up.
Jan 31
I talked to T and I told her I don't want to go out with her and her man on my birthday. Something is really
up with her man. He owns this company but he brags so much and he came down here and he did not rent a
car. I mean he might be fake. Well let me stop talking about her so much, this is supposed to be about me.
Its just T is an Asian and I think she can get a man more her type. Just to also mention this guy told her he
does not want to talk to her anymore cause she has not had sex with him yet.
February
Its my birthday and Valentines and black history month. I love all these holidays. I hope we have a great
month. I hope I get to the point of being able to pay my bills.
Feb 3
I wanted to see my photographer. I was missing him so much. I was tired, but I had to see him. I drove 30
minutes to the town where he worked and when he kissed me it was all over. Next thing I know I was on the
desk at a major college. I was all on that desk taking that dick. He fucked me so good, I came without
touching myself. It was the first time I had office sex, and yes, it was good. Gosh I loved it every minute of
it.
Feb 5
I had some good sex today, gosh it was so good. He was from Turkey. So I guess I can say I had some
Turkey Dick. Some good hard masculine Turkey. MMMMMMMMMMM, it was so good, that boy can hit
it and hit it good. When he kisses me its so good too. He came over just to talk, but yall know I am slut. I
love it when I meet a nice guy that wants and can't resist me in a sexy outfit. We made love for 2 hours, 2
times. He was so so so so so so good. I might need to date more men from Turkey, he had 6 inches, but he
worked those 6 inches. I should have put it on tape, so everyone could see it.
Feb 6
Its midnight and I am horny again. I don't know whats wrong. I called my photographer and he will not see
me today, he is too busy. There is this guy named Mic thats supposed to hit it tonight but I called him and his
voice mail picked up. That was a true waste of time.
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